Archive for March, 2010

As a high school teacher, I often see kids with pants sagging so badly that they have to either walk funny, or hang on to them with one hand to keep them from falling down. First of all, if they are worried about them falling down, why do they let them sag? Secondly, if they don’t care about them sagging and falling down, why not just let them go and be done with it?

I’m a wanna be videographer and I’ve often thought about making a commercial that would go something like this:

Open with wide angle of a savannah in Africa, several herds of animals are grazing in the tall grass, among them is a herd of gazelles. They occasionally look up, searching for predators. Cut to a group of boys at a high school standing around talking. Cut back to the savannah. A lioness is stalking through the tall grass and slowly comes to a stop. Cut back to the school. A security guard in his electric golf cart is staring suspiciously at the group of boys. Cut to the savannah. The animals become anxious and more heads pop up from the grass, all looking in the direction of the lioness low in the grass. Cut to the school. The boys are all now staring at the security guard. Cut to the savannah. The lioness starts to run towards the animals. Cut to the school. The security guard starts driving towards the group of boys. Cut to the savannah. The animals start to run away. Cut to the school. The boys start to run. Cut to the savannah. One lame gazelle starts to lag behind and the lioness has singled it out. Cut to the school. One boy can’t run fast since his pants are sagging so badly. The security guard singles him out. Cut to the savannah. The lioness takes down the lame gazelle. Cut to the school. The security guard catches the lame boy (I mean the boy with the sagging pants). Cut to the savannah. In the tall grass, the lioness has stopped to feed on her victim. Only the top of the her back can be seen as her head occasionally dips into the grass to eat. Fade to black. Text and voiceover say, “Sagging: Natural selection at work. Keep it up!”

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The Maya were wrong!

It’s not December 21, 2012, but rather April 3, 2010 that will herald in a new age. I’m talking about the iPad that is about to be released. This will be the day that our kids look back on and say, “I remember when the computer died.”

The thing about the iPad is that, it is what you want it to be, when you want it to be it, and not when you don’t. Get it? When you need a keyboard, it’s there.

If computers are so smart, why do we have to take classes to learn how to use them? As advanced as computers are these days, they haven’t really changed much from the days of the Apple II. Sure they are faster and prettier, but we still have to learn how to use them. I don’t think computers will be truly advanced until I can walk into my house and ask, “what’s in the fridge?” and my computer answers. I should be able to ask, “Do I have any messages?” and the computer responds, “You have one voicemail and three emails.” Computers need to do what they do and get out of our way.

I teach computer classes at a local computer store. If computers were truly advanced, I wouldn’t have a job. I long for the day when computers can put an end to having to take classes just to learn how to use them. Most adults feel incredibly stupid around computers and they shouldn’t have to feel that way. The iPad is going to change all that.

What do most people do with a computer? Most people check their email, update Facebook, look at pictures and surf the web. I know many adults that have shiny new computers and all they do is play solitaire. They could’ve just bought a $3 deck of cards and been better off (plus it’s easier to cheat with real cards).

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